don't know II
- Operator
- Apr 11
- 20 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
don't know
"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing,
and that is that I know nothing." said Socarates
Similar to Socrates,"don't know" is my philosophy.
He said "I don't know anything," which is the wisest.
I continue his line of thought by saying, "I am not going to put a limit on what I know. I am going to question, so I can know more."
"Don't know" allows being open to know a chance.
Certainty limits and doesn't allow any room to know anything else. Closes the door to not know.
Doubt is uncertain.
A very annoying confident doubt
who can know more,
just not know it all.
I am uncertain.
That would be me...no doubt a little annoying and confident, who wants to know more by saying, "don't know."
Certain is a know it All.
The starting point of "don't know" is a great place to start.
It keeps Truth in a reasonable space.
Humble.
Painting
Make decisions until they hold no fear
When I used to paint I would have an idea of what I wanted. I didn't have certainty it would work before I started.
I just went in, with confidence that I could do it with my skills and techniques I owned. Techinques are mine to keep, and the more you do, the more techniques you find, that apply to other things.
I painted constantly to gain more techniques, thing that worked were added, thing tht didn't were not used...and not to use again.
Techniques are built on previous one, and finally, you sort of rely on only a few.
From complexity comes simplity. The journey is always th same with each new thing I tried.
Painting taught me to try my best,
understand how my mind works,
and the power of certainty, specifically words.
I avoided words when I was painting, since it attaches to a level of certainty.
Words slow you down since thoughts go much faster.
Like close to instant, as fast as Bonds swining at 100 mph pitch and hitting it.
He used to say, "If you can catch the ball, you can hit the ball."
I am a big fan of the greatest hitter I ever saw consistently. He made me watch more than a few games and watched how he hit.
He was decisive on knowing how to swing to get home runs, with constant practice at the batting cage.
o be a great hitter, you need to practice hitting.
Doing is just that, doing it. Figure out while doing...and then words after if you need to explain it
With words, it is like quicksand, with more words that follow and trying to figure out while you are doing.
Similar to talking while you are doing, the words become more important than what you are doing.
Memorizing.
Relying on the anxiety filled, can't forget curse to memorization.
Formatted knowing.
Easier to just do and have confidence you can do it again.
When you are done, then you can figure out, when you have time to do that, not during.
Revisions
Doubt refines until Truth sruvies
If my art didn't work I would start again and learn from what didn't make it work. No words or complaints, just continued doing.
Doing is the knowing, that is where you learn. Repeating doing something will make the Words stop and you just naturally do without thinking, in the good way, not narrating in your head.
The pretending that you are doing is a waste of time, since it shows...you don't like doing. So why pretend.
Move onto someting you like to do.
Storytelling and new words, that makes you sound like you know, are just words without the doing.
I call it the"fake it till you make it" route to knowing.
That was Certain's favorite mantra, that and "Only do your best if it benefits you."
Never followed those two mantras when it came to creating paintings.
I just created and moved on to the next creation.
The past mistakes and successes became a part of me in the present, without an explanation needed.
Each brushstroke,
while I was doing,
was a decision,
built on the foundation from previous strokes.
Successes that worked remained, failures were avoided by not doing.
I didn't need to memorize, since if I made it again, the result would be the same, did it work or didn't it.
I still needed those mistakes to know what not to do.
Only I would know if it was my best,
or if it could have been better.
That was the Truth I was learning.
A Truth in oil painting that translated to what I know in life,
which is just a complicated interface of shared space.
Self is the best place to test Truth since it is the only place that you can really know.
Self is a controlled envirnoment interface, that filter Truth cleanly if you learn to be honest with yourself..
Truth from within first, and then outward.
Truth exists outside, but based on how you view Truth within.
Truth is learned if one is truthful to Others.
Then it can be found within.
The two work hand in hand,
a Metronome that effect both.
Strengthening both sides of Self.
Outside and within.
Self
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
Self is your Mind and Body.
Body follows the Mind, which has two parts.
Reason and Passion.
Reason and Passion are two opposite styles that overlap, because you need both.
They create the struggle that never ends and get in each others way constantly so that you get the best answers in life.
They alternate instantly, this dance cannot be memorized or choreographed.
Sorry no easy A for those that don't like to work.
You need both dancers of the Mind, since a singularity is not good, since nothing will challenge it to stop or correct itself.
You need air traffic control to navigate two equally strong, yet vastly different fly patterns.
Passion can contradict and Reason is an Absolute, based on what you experienced.
More experiences means better Absolutes, a vodka that simplifies and doest not contradict.
The most logical approach is to separate them based on their weaknesses and strengths.
Reason goes to Past, Present and Future to find answers, and usually late for answeres because it wants to only answer once., with the right answer.
Reason looks at the whole experience, not just one moment.
Sort of like someone asks you questione and you give an answer...and then as you step out, you get the real answer.
That moment is time to go correct since Absolute Apple just gave you the best Answer.
Admit you gave the wong answer and you got the right one. Leave room for corrections or else Reason asks, why did you do that, I just gave you the right answer.
Reason sees patterns from experiences and data you gather.
Answers come from experiences put together.
You need new data, connection of past experiences, from a current experience.
More experiences means more data. Painting and writing is an experience that does not require travel, or any expenses...well with painting, you need space and supplies.
Might be why I knew it was not going to be my Art, but man, I still loved it.
Passion rarely sees beyond the Present since it is creation built solely for the Present.
For some things, you don't have the luxury of not knowing and need an answer Now.
Urgent answers for survival, except now things are safer, but Passion doesn't see Modern or Ancient, it is always Present.
Outdated
Somerhing that is ourdated should be upgraded with a new use
I think at one time, Passion was the rarity in Ancient Times, since it expends energy. It needed to be fresh.
Reason was the dominant side since a lot of time to think...silence...and not much to do.
You didn't want to do much since survival is using limited energy for reward of surviving.
Back in the day, you had to survive with Passion, a fine piece of machinary that could literally save your life.
But at Present, not so much.
Passion is still as powerful as ever in a modern safe envirionemnt.
Means more overused and now just passionate about format and unimportant things, though it feels like you need it for your own survival. That is Passion, passionate to survival.
If you need to survive, you feel that passion to want to stay alive. Felt that a couple of times and it was interesting.
"Do what Must" And too much of must is a thing you don't want, clutter and waste of energy.
Must means need and what do we really need?
Reason just roams, with no worry of when it finds the answer. Can't rush Reason, which is its weakness.
"There is Nothing" is Reason's Name. An echo Name to reality.
Nothing is Reality, it is a blank canvas that has all these hands distrubing it. You have to make space for your own reality, so you know, you find out who yo uare.
A blank canvas is something I mastered and got comfortable not rushing
I have painted over 700 paintings, as for writing, got to be in the thousands of pages, Excel was hard to track...but my guess, since it is my longest career, 20 years and I can't even fathom a guess.
Lots of Sheet1, that expanded to multipole sheets, and then boom...Programs that were highly funcitional.
Creating is the way to overcome the fear of "There is Nothing."
It is like seeing the Void and not being fazed and saying, um I don't care, gonna do my best to make this Nothing into my own creation.
There are a lot of people in this world, so you have to learn how to adjust and maintain balance with how you create.
Question
For every question, there are 2 answers
Take answering a question as an example.
Every question has one answers from Passion and Reason, with both answered in the Present.
But only One really can find answers in the Future, from all the Past knowledge.
Reason.
Think of him as maintenance and make things work, depends on your experience on how good he is..
Passion is immediate and will give her best answer, that can be recalled in that one moment.
Mems are crutchs and leads to disappointment.
Control of a certain answer or moment is stressful.
Reason answers immediately too, but a lot of times it is, "don't know," but then it will slowly go back in past and try to figure it out.
Default setting is don't know.When you don't know...it is blank, and some passionate people must know.
They cripple Reason by saying, well if you don't know I am going to know instead without you.
"There is Nothing"
So accept tther is nothing and figure it out, and some answers take years, with "don't know" maybe decades like, "Who do I want to be." Try and keep trying on the clothes of be.
One size does not fit all..
If a ceratinty is placed, no more need to find out this "don't know ".
Our mind is filled with questions and answers, like a ticket from the deli, one at a time, and in the order it is figured out.
If Original Pride is strong, you make official decrees that silence Reason, which he is more than happy to accept.
He is a lazy mechanic who just says, fine by me, less work to do.
Too many certainties make you officially Unreasonable, like Certain, the most passionate person on being right, and it lead her to bankrupting her hsuband for 125k and just ignoring the fact she was the Finance Dept of our marriage.
No judgement, an example of what happens if you ignore "don't know" with a know, and say, I am going with believability of the moment.
She was certain she wanted all the things she without thought to being reasonable.
I was the most Reasonable person by allowing her to spend recklessly, because I did not want to waste time arguing with an Unreasonable person.
I woud only learn how to fight unreasaonably, and become unreasonable like her.
I don't want to catch her fire of creations, that would make me part of her pretty messed up reality.
Reason and Passion
A marraige of discord or harmony depending teamwork
Reason will participate in your mind if you listen, if not, it is fine with taking a break like I did in the marraige.
Reason and Passion, in form and we both won.
We both got what we wanted and grew more complete of our Self. Except one catch, Passion without Reason avoids Self, since it keeps maintinting with passionate beliefes about Self.
Empty calories in my humble opinion, but to each their own.
Reason and Passion are two opposite styles that overlap, because you need both.
They create the struggle that never ends and get in each others way constantly.
You need air traffic control to navigate two equally strong, yet vastly different behavior.
The most logical approach is to separate them based on their weaknesses and strengths.
Reason goes to Past, Present and Future to find answers. It sees patterns from experiences and data you gather.
Answers come from experiences put together.
You need new data, connection of past experiences, from a current experience.
More experiences means more data.
I always knew w
Least creative to figure out someone else, and I can't understand how one gets used to it.
Self.
Marriage
Marraige is not compromise, but space to grow without compromise
Think of Reason as the husband and Passion as the wife, and how fair they play will be an amazing life or my life of bankruptcy,
I filed for bankruptcy because Certain, Passion learned from her first bankruptcy. While I was dating her, she was filing bankruptcy during her first marriage. She learned, not going to do that again, not by spending less, actually more, by adapting.
Passion put all the debt on Reason, for reasons she does not want to be responsible for her spending. A solution that she ensured by protecting the territory that she was the one to spend without oversite from the person she was using their Name.
Passion fought feircely whenever the topic of her spending came up. She went to war for that topic so she could have independence to spend as she wanted.
Passion gets what she wants by not playing fair, which is fine, since Reason doesn't care.
It is making a norm of showing that you don't care about Reason, which Reason, me, doesn't care either.
I filed for bankruptcy and it got finalized on Dece 28, 2023, and I started making weekly payments to Pasion to show, no hard feelings.
She won the jackpot.
Metronome shows the benefits she received and mine, I get to be tested and see if I will be my Best.
What she doesn't see these as a Test of keeping her word for promises, she failed, and it doesn't matter to me.
One judges Self, and one that doesn't will find that, well, it means you don't need Reason, and no longer care about Truth.
Those disregard Truth can only mimic sincerity.
Not often you hear complaints from me because that is a waste of time. Above line is not a complaint, it is a Truth that was tested, throughout the whole Metronome.
Could care less if she took advanatage of me, that is material that I don't see as value.
The value of the Metronome, is exmaples of what I can say and show, um, Reason is the winner since I got to practie my philosophy against opposition. Victory of gaining material is empty at what cost for the immaterial Self.
Both are revealed and improved, depending on the repetition.
I proved how I am.
I am who I am.
Reasonable, without Passion, even when faced with Passion.
Education
School never ends
Story and thoughts come from experiences, and the truth behind stories are often more interesting than the story.
Every experience is an education, the greatedst teacher since you dont' have to explain, just experience and see what happeend.
Time is most valuable things in life, not the material things.
I learned the value of time with my marraige and realized, gotta get out or else she is going to find ways to benefit from my time in other ways not so fair. The pattern was escalation of the unconcern for my wellfare, and I did the most reasonable, got the hell out of there.
I mean, though the MEtronome is a view of the mairarage, that is her being careful of what she writes. The marraige wsa far worse towards the end, which so happens to be when the examples start, seeing the worst of the aftermath, not prior.
One things I can show are two things, unttustowrhty and insincer, which leads to unfair play of the rules of the marraige.
If Reason does something that appears unresaonsable, it is not a mental break, but a response to an unresonable and passionate envirionement.
Territory
Boundaries are established by reasonable compromise or passionate battles.
Passion does not play fair, and will keep pushing the boundary of what one is willing to do to fight for it.
I never took the bait. A fight with Certain is a loss, since Passion wins by being unreasonable.
I am right. No matter how illogical or unreasonable.
I said, you are right.
A masterful side step from a waste of time.
Could care less if she wins, since she doesn't get to dictate who wins.
That is imposing on someone of your right to be right about me.
I adjusted, and use a great tactic when faced with overconfident passion of being right.
Retreat without surrendering and keep conceding for the entire marraige, or most of it.
Maybe after 3 months when I was facing her overpowered way to win at all cost.
I was reasonable, and grew from the learning from my duality in form.
I am married, mind as well learn, and man, I learned so much.
I can now navigate through life dealing with all 64 hands of the passionate techniques and counter with my 3 hand style.
Be patient
Be kind
And do what is asked, with only one stipulation.
Trust conditionally so I don't have to do all three, and learn to Spot someone who has insincerity.
I leraned sincerity from an insincere, wife who I still love.
I am writing some of this, not to attack, but to use her as an example and say, it wasn't my job to change you.
Change comes from within.
I wasn't about to let you win a field where you control the results like the metronome.
Come on, seriously, how hard is it to send me things, or sign a paper. Unreasonable, but shows Passion of still wanting to punish a husband that...um did what was asked and then some more. She just wants to win at all cost, and I have no idea what her success finsh line is...since most likely Passion doens't know.
Passion says, until I win I won't sign.
She may never will.
Now she has to file on her own, and then have her name be associated with me with the Title.
Reason just goes with the flow and doen't like direct conflict with unreasonable.
don't know, but do care, in only onse sense. What you do to others reflects back on Self. It grows and no matter what words or beliefs you hold about Self, the actions and doing are the things that stay.
Can't outrun the clock with pleasant words to hide who you afrom Self.
I love her, but not to death. That is unreasonable.
A tell she often shows, by focusing on that policy.
Why?
Certainy blinds from seeing, that is the curse. It makes you look foolish, ironically.
Not that is what I am calling my wife that,. I just say what can be proven, she is untrustworthy and insincere to me
Ironically I gave her several chances to not have her in these pages, since I needed to see her at least show a semblance of good faith returned. She couldn't pass the Test and now she has to remain as the example of what Certain Passion looks lik.
A little frightening, and I was willing to let bygone be bygones, that is how reaosnable I am.
When you forgive the unforgivable it enhances your tolerance of others. I am very tolerant, and my wife could not seee that this is all of her own making.
I mean, come on, how stupid do you think I am to not know I am sitting on the most intereseting story that...um...I am a writer.
know
When you know, you know
If Reason knows, it is the best answer.
Reason does not contradict,
unlike Passion who likes to stay only in Present.
The answer one chooses is a choice.
Multiple choice.
Passionate answers considers present, so consequences are factored in. Passion will contradict as shown in the Metronome, obvious fibs to get her rewards.
Reason gives answer without considering and just tells the Truth.
Reason is conscience, and it can be silenced with repetition of never listening. I no longer try to correct her since it would be a waste of time.
Reason doesn't do anything unless it is useful.
If you ignore Reason, it will just get lazy and just show up when you absolutely need it.
Passion has a dominating nature and wants to be right.
Be very careful of feeling like you are right or else you end up like Certain, someone who says beautiful things but can't seem to understand, you can't do that to others.
It just was too far to be the one to place that crown of thorns on the most reasonable person she will ever know.
I did not even get mad,
One of the few times I was her conscince, said, "tell the Truth, or else you will lose your Self, empty of knowing right from wrong."
I wasn't mad, but she was denying she called me a loser right after she said it.
I called her out and she refused to admit.
t didn't hurt me, but if she can keep changing within a second and deny what she said, um she won't be able to control herself.
The Title she gave was her reply to that rare fight.
It defintelyu hurt, but no, I did not break.
I embrace it like a crown that says, don't be certain of documents that can be flawed.
It only has 1 title I wrote, and nothing else.
It was how others felt about the Title that was previously White Sands.
Obituary.
My meaning of obituary is that story of someone who deserved more than 1 paragraph and deserved my attemps to tell her story. It took 2 years that started the month she was in the hospital.
The ironay is hilarious.
And it was approved by a Name who I won't say, and followed up with another name with a Shield, and the Court said, this is a good day's work.
I accept it and expect nothing. I won't challenge it.
But I am pretty intelligent about myself and I get to write about it.
Their Names are with Certain, and that is ashame.
A stain caused by someone who forgot how to tell the truth.
It was written from a wife that thinks I am a loser. so what, but why, bring those 3 names to have to say...our names are next to her?
If you are right all the time, than you can never do anything wrong to another.
It was my nicest way to say, you are harming me and it will only grow for the next person you can't control.
I agreed with her,
You are right, but I kept my Self in check, by never forgetting, I believe in Self because I tested it every day with her.
I never wanted to be like her, too stressful and full of anxiety.
Thought
I think, therefore I am
If the answer are same from both Reason and Passion, it is the best answer you have in Present.
Also means your Passionate guess is the right answer.
Reason is quality control.
Don't let Passion get a big head or else it becomes overconfident like...you know.
But it also shows that Passion and Reason are on the same page, which is a good thing, since it simplifies.
Passion has been tempered with its contradictions.
Truth has to be learned from Passion, since consequence is a fear that has to be overcome.
When answers are the same from both sides, usually they are left alone.
It would be too stressful to constantly check a Best Answer in Present.
Two rights make a right, unless it comes into question.
Then you have to fix and have a new answer.
Improved answers are needed from time to time.
Uncertain isn't a state of mind where you are an idiot saying, "don't know" to everything.
Nope, you figure a lot of things out, just more selective of what you know as the best answer in present, and willing to revist if you see something that makes you question.
You collect what you know better since it is a calm, fair way to know, instead of a sprint to take over every corner of the world of what you know.
That is just stressful and a little overreach.
One last thing about "don't know" benefits.
Reason will sometimes wander to a random "don't know" and just figure it out of the blue since it tries to find all the answers to "don't know."
Reason is non-linear because it needs data and experiences to answer more. It needs stimulation from new points of experiences.
If you follow the same experiences, most likely your "don't knows" are stuck in a traffic jam of your own making.
Reason never really forgets.
Even if you forget, your Mind records without you having to explain what you are remembering.
Thoughts are wordless.
The words placed on thought are your own.
Passion
Change your Passion by listening to Reason.
So what does Passion do since it contradicts?
Where is the best place to put a side of your mind that will double down to beliefs that contradict?
Effort.
Passion into effort is the best place.
Effort doesn't need answers. Also a great place to put double downs, which Passion definitely does since it is Certain of being right.
Passion is needed in life.
Certain is useful because you can't go through life feeling like you are wrong all the time.
Poor self esteem will cripple at a young age.
A confidence has to be created from belief only when you start out.
You do have to fake it in the beginning, but the make it has to happen so you can drop the fake.
As you gain more experiences and gets older, Passion's role has to change.
Passion's strength is its weakness, it won't back down from feeling right.
Red Pride.
The safest place to put that sort of Certain is in Effort.
Best Effort is Best intention.
The effort you make is the reward you receive.
Effort is taking a step forward to break the doubt of doing something. But not a specific doubt, a doubt of not trying your Best.
Passionate answers are caninesque. They are jumping up to be seen, dogged with demand to be believed. It is high maintenance, which reminds me of my endless search to find a low maintenace girlfriend.
I am not sure if they exist...could be myth for all I know.
Passionate Effort are caninesque also, but with a better use of its style.
Get that motivation running towards Reason, who is felinesque, and will start running.
Reason is lazy unless it gets chased.
Passion Effort can motivate without overlapping the knowing. It is just the gas pedal while Reason is the wheel.
All Effort knows is to put more effort into the direction that it is pointed towards.
The more time you spend focused on something, the better chance you remain in that state, but in a pleasant way with both Reason and Passion working together and not against.
The more you do something, the better you get. And REason is no longer lazy and now.....
Present.
It is a bodybuilder, fit and sleek like Arnold who can do anything, excpet lose that accent.
Still one of my fave, as is Sly.
Reason can look like that, not out of shape as it is originally.
Passionate Certain was the canine that made me move that Reason to essentially be a thinking machine.
Had to, I was avoiding her like the plague and needing to make time while I was doing.
WE didn't interact often on purpose. The more I was around her, the more Time she would find for me to do things.
My REason was a little scared of her PAssion imagination to keep trying to get me to break.
And that is what PAssionate Effort does, makes Reaons find soemthing to do or else that REd Effort is going to annoy the crap out of him, ifguratively of course.
My wife did annoy me though, wasted time with rerund os stories. Insincere people run out of material because sincerity is scary to them.
Might find out something aboutthemselves they dont' wnat to know about themselves.
"Don't know"
The greatest 2 words that solves a lot of problems.
If it needs to be known, do your best. Put it on priority so you don't forget.
"don't know, do care"
If it is a useless question, then move on.
You don't need answers to everything.
"don't know, don't care"
Don’t know but care
Don’t be immediate and do rash things, like freak out.
Two exqmples
One is when you don’t know hwere you keys are.
You start second guessing and if you call for need help, that means you don’t have confidence you can figure it out
Go slow, restep. They will be there.
And when you find them, it wil be logical, oh yeah, I lfet them there.
You don’t call everyone and freak out and say I will never ind these keys.
That is just illogical and letting passion take over
Second example, you can’t find your car
You think someone stole it, I used to do this too.
But then I just calmly restep where I thought I parked
Push the button for the beeper
And know, the chances of someone stealing the care when you know you forgot where you parked, the forgetting is the most likely cause
Don’t freak out, stay calm
And work on it, and that is an experience that will repeat and you will be more thoughtful of where you park, like the keys
They are break in pattersn where you learn
Improve instead of giving up and claling for help
First Draft
First drafts lead to closest to final drafts through revision.
You neeed to think or write a thought down first, unfiltered, to know.
Tha is the start, not what is believable, or an idea of what you think you should think.
It is no longer a first draft, but editted.
A first thought or draft should be the Truth of what you think, without filter, before you can know anything
Revisions come later, after being read, and choosing what you want to keep and delete.
But you need that first draft and it takes courage.
First thing to don't know, do care, um gotta care enough to pur your brest effort.
Not have the perfect essay, since that is too much preasure
Write down everything and it is an experience that you will remember since you recorded a thought.
Deostn’ matter if it is used again. It will return if it wa a good thought. If forgotten, then it was not worth it, but you will recall, oh yeah if it appears again, that didn't work.
Build your thoughts by first allowing them to exist, instead of waiting for the perfect sentence orr phrase. Those don't happen often unless you have lots of practice...thinking or writing.
Don’t play it safe.
Truth can be learned from writing, by literally seeing what you think is true, not judging if anyone else will understand. You have to undersatnd yourself before that concern...and eventually you reach the point that you don't care if you are misunderstood. and you will be who you saw you are through your actions and thoughts.
Words distort, embrace silence.
